I’ve been looking at appreciation.

Oct 16, 2020

I’ve been looking at appreciation.

Searching for constructs outside of the rigid and unfair capitalistic scarcity model we have been in.

I recognize that I have believed a lot of the lies.

That there is not enough, that I am not enough, that there is a lack.

I’ve turned to the Mother for answers.

I ask Her, and Her systems in nature.

A system of abundance, of enough for everyone, of giving, and giving and giving.

She is a system of love for everyone,

And I noticed my prayers kept returning to appreciation, and gratitude.

For all that She gives, for all the ways She unconditionally pours Her love onto Her children. That She is compassionate grace, and She continues to forgive over and over.

I see this in the Earth,

How She keeps giving.

And I looked at how I appreciate Her.

Appreciation, I am finding, means you give back more than you are given. This is how you appreciate value.

I haven’t always been good at this.

And even inside my privilege, and all the blessings in front of me, there have been times where I have not appreciated Her.

With my lack mentality, I haven’t always given back in the ways that were deserving.

And I ask for forgiveness.

I am learning a more abundant construct by continuing my devotion to the Mother, and seeing how She interacts with life.

I want to do better than this.

It does not seem possible to appreciate Her in a way that feels complete.

It’s not about reaching a level, or some figure.

It is a life of devotion, of giving back as much as we can.

To find even a tiny piece of appreciation for all that She gives us every day.

This is what I am reaching for.

A life where I overcome the beliefs that have been placed upon us, and remember that we are in Her garden, and we are so loved.

I will do my best to appreciate THAT.